La Casita Loca

It Goes So Fast

2011-07-21T23:20:00.003-07:00

I was trying to recall what journal I had used last, the sandpaper “serious period of my life” one (that lasted 8 pages), the flowery coming of age one, the pink, floaty spiral-bound oh-damnit-I-just-had-a-baby-and-now-I-have-MS spiritual desperation one. Oh, yeah, that one. That one was the one I used most recently. How long has it been? 6 years ago today I met Dr. Suber for the first time in my hospital room, him with his black doctor’s bag of old-school tools, me with my breast pump. And just this week he did me a solid and wrote a note about how healthy I am for NP school clinicals. Micah and I were just talking today about how things have changed since then. “Look where we are now,” he said. He mentioned how awesome he is! I mentioned Rush, Dear Rush, another one of those new things that has happened in the last six years, with this amazement of how much I love him. Seriously. Rush, who has been driving me up the wall today ripping out strands of Evie’s hair, banging on doors, and responding to my motherly advice with bored, irritated replies like, “I am eating my chicken.” And Evie, who lost the second of her two front teeth today. The one bearing the beige tint from the fall she took as a toddler at Community Bible Study. I can’t believe she is so big. I see the beam of grandmothers as we pass by in the grocery stores, “It goes so fast,” their faces say. And now I am wanting to send the same message to my cousin Alisha, and Amanda the babysitter too, who are expecting their first babies this year. “It goes so fast!” What an insane warning. As if we could slow it down. And let’s be honest, as if we would want to. Today I thought if I heard the accusatory scream, “Mommy!” one more time I was going to start throwing objects around the room. I actually screeched into the comforter and later told Evie, “You’d better go into your room so you and your brother aren’t together, because if you fight one more time I am going to start acting like a child. I am sick of it! I am human too!” She got tears in her eyes and hugged me. She is six years old. I. Am. An. Awful. Mother. Today, every day, is such a nutso day. Today I got the pre-clinical paperwork organized, all my immunizations, my CPR certification and nursing license, all that crap together, brought it to Kinkos with the kids running all over the place to fax it to school. I shop for malpractice insurance. I order a nametag while I bathe the kids. I secure the babysitter so that I can go begging Tuesday at Family Practice doorsteps for an opportunity to learn there. We pick up and vacuum the tornado of a house because Clint (Rush clarifies “Bill?”) is coming tomorrow. I call Mary to make sure she has a heads-up about the carpet cleaning, ask Micah to get money for Jumpstreet so she can get the kids out of the house, pack tomorrow’s lunch, start tomorrow’s laundry, and email Juliet’s father to see if she can come to Evie’s “Secret Club” on Saturday. I spank Rush for scalping his sister, only to later hear him say “Mommy? Don’t hit me,” right outside the doors of the pediatrician prior to Evie’s appointment. Comfort Evie after I “accidentally” pull her tooth (dangling for a week, c’mon); we Google pictures of other kids with their two front teeth missing, I tell her what a beautiful smile it is. She is preoccupied about the tissue, the “budge” she calls it, still attached to her gum line. I try to use my nursing skills to talk her out of it, “Oh, it’s normal! It’ll get lighter and lighter and smaller and smaller until you don’t see it anymore.” I use small words, so she doesn’t freak out and say, “What is ATROPHY?!” My left heel has hurt with almost every step since Christmas, I haven’t even done homework today, and I. Am. Exhausted. I am asking so much of these kids right now. They don’t even know it yet, but one day, they will. I need to go back to that spiral-bound spiritual diary, dig up some reverence, and pray that my children will one day grow to be forgiving adults.

And Did I Mention GG Was Here?

2011-05-23T01:51:00.004-07:00

Sorry, Grandma, I really wanted to post sooner after your trip but you know how life goes. (No, I mean it...you know...you've been here.) Here you are, reading to Rush and his BFF, Jamie, amidst the nutty schedule, sibling fights, and every-other-day trips to the Someburros drive-thru. One of the memories I will take away from this trip is when we were on our way to Baskin Robbins and noticed the car in front of us driving perfectly fine with its hazards on. You said, "I guess he can't decide which way he wants to turn," and then you laughed at your own joke, which I LOVE it when people laugh at their own jokes! And we both started cracking up like we were the funniest people in the whole world. I loved it that you got to be here to see Rush turn the big three. Thanks for being here, GG. I love you.

Dear Rush...

2011-05-04T08:55:00.001-07:00

Easter Blessings

2011-04-24T16:16:00.012-07:00

Ah, Sunday mornings. Marital tension rising as Carmen sleeps in until 10:45, and later as Micah, long after we should have been out the door to church, allows his Sonicare toothbrush to complete its full 2-minute revolution after leisurely flossing, rinsing, and fingernail clipping with military attention to detail. My nagging gets me nowhere, as Micah points out, "Thank you for barking at me. Have you noticed it makes me get ready so much faster?"On the way to church, after Micah firsts suggests he could have groomed faster had I not asked him to dress Rush, and then adds insult to injury by telling me how to drive:

Carmen: I want to claw my fingernails into your face right now.

Micah: (laughing) That would be the last thing that you did. I would dump your body in those bushes (pointing) right over there.

Carmen: I'd die satisfied.

Micah: Happy Easter, honey.

We kissed and made up at church, "Peace be with you," and again at home, Evie accusedly banging on the locked bedroom door, "What is going on in there...are you guys hiding Easter eggs!?"

Off we go to Mom's, where GG is coordinating an elaborate Easter feast! The Zunigas arrive after they come to a decision over their usual holiday dilemma. "I'll lay it out, Jesse," Georgina tells her husband once or twice a year, "we can go to my brother's, but there won't be alcohol. At Carmen's, we can drink, but we have to pray." Another score for Jesus and beaujolais!After Easter eggs planted by Gramasan, and dinner served by GG, we all find out just how similar and different we are from one another with a few rounds of What Were You Thinking. Turns out neither Jesse nor Micah are surprised that they both listed Loni Anderson among their top 5 favorite busty babes. "Like, duh."

What a great Easter! Family, friends, fights, laughter, crown roast of pork, and rum-saturated carrots! I am very grateful for this day, and grateful for our Savior who gave it to us. Thank you, Lord, Resurrector of life, marital reconciliation, and WKRP reruns!

The Best Part

2011-03-29T21:03:00.007-07:00

I can't even decide what the best part of these past couple months has been. Here's what I have to choose from:

Watching my baby girl turn 6 years old. That sentimental roller coaster metaphor in Parenthood? That's totally what it was like.

Watching my baby girl's Grandma Jean, Grandpa Dave, and Gramasan watch her turn 6.

Seeing 9 to 5: The Musical, with Mom and her teacher friends.

Slow dancing with my best friend at her milestone, John Travolta-themed birthday party. I love you, Georgina. :)

Laughing with friends as Micah made a last ditch, 10-seconds-to go, pubic-inspired drawing of George "bush" on Wii Pictionary. Nobody got it until after the timer ran out and Micah was on his side in stitches.

Going out with my old Woodbridge HS friend Lee Ann. Friday night fish & chips, followed by a very special episode of Dateline NBC!

Getting devotionals in the mail, special-ordered and sent with love by Katie and Landis.

Going to the cycle class my friend Jen teaches, then going to the Good Egg with her after. (Jen's sage words: "Workin' out and piggin' out, my favorite things to do!")

Reuniting with my gym shoes 2-days after leaving them at Jen's gym.

Reuniting with my keys after the following week's Zumba class, still in the ignition of my running car, where I had left them two hours earlier.

And, last but not least, celebrating the bittersweet Big Love Finale with my dearest, costumed sister wives and husbands. Home sweet home. And very grateful for the people in my life that make it sparkle.

Out of the Mouths of My Babes

2011-02-11T11:17:00.003-07:00

Rush: Eeeuw. Mommy, help. Poop. Fingers.

Evie: (shaking hands with the furniture salesman) My names is Evalea, but please call me Evie.

Rush: t.......o.......U......Toy Story!

Evie: I don't like that zit on your face; it doesn't look good on you. Why are you laughing?

Diagnosis: Cankles

2011-02-01T23:18:00.004-07:00

What makes you older?

a) Foot problems,

b) Complaining about your foot problems, or

c) Blogging about your foot problems?

I pretty much realized I was getting older when I confided in a podiatrist about my funny run and he snorted and said, "Like Phoebe from Friends?" Yep. People my age are old enough to be practicing medicine, performing surgeries, and driving 18-gauge, steroid-loaded needles into my left foot while they reminisce about Ross and Rachael.

Turns out I am old, and I have more than just cankles. See that deadly hook under my heel? It means I'm a superhero. No really, it means, and I'll quote the 90's podiatrist, "You have a high pain tolerance." I told Georgina I considered his statement flattering. She laughed and asked if I also told him what a wonderful student I was. "Does he know how you're able to get straight A's and still be in all of that pain?" Of course I did! And then he dosed me up with cortisone and lidocaine, handed over some orthotics, and gave me a blank look when I asked for a picture of my cankles..."for a joke. My sisters will really think this is funny." He still didn't get it. Poor old man.

Holiday Hangover

2011-01-07T10:55:00.006-07:00

"Christmas is over!" our friend David once said bitterly when we visited his apartment the day after the holiday to find every light, wreath, and candle already packed away. Micah and I still laugh and use that quote eleven years later, but we're not as on the ball as David and Gary were. The lights are up, but not on, and the house? It's trashed. Micah has filled the recycle bin three times over with cardboard boxes from our Christmas plunder and we're not even done. Something in me just can't get motivated to clean up and put things away. I feel so empty! Christmas was magical this year! Mom slept over the night before and we stayed in our pj's, ate cinnamon rolls, took naps, and watched Talledega Nights. We had french dips soaked in Guinness and onion soup and opened presents all. day. LONG. The kids are so precious right now, the whole day moved forward in this hazy, sweet slow motion filled with their little voices. I'm trying not to be depressed after it's all said and done. So instead of screaming, "Thanks for the one night stand, Baby Jesus!" I will remember what Christmas is truly about, thank God for our many blessings, and set out to taking those lights down...tomorrow.

All She Wants for Christmas Is...

2010-12-19T18:42:00.000-07:00

Our Firstborn

2010-12-11T16:06:00.007-07:00

Poor Chloe has taken such a backseat since the kids were born. I used to take her to the dog park, stuff her Christmas stocking with dog treats, and carry her to bed every night. I feel so guilty for using her as a pseudo-child before emotionally kicking her to the curb the very day we brought Evie home from the hospital. But she accepted the kids so graciously. She defends them from strangers, lets them ride her like a horse, cleans up all of their spills, and waits patiently for me to acknowledge her after I walk in from the garage. She had a long overdue vet appointment this week, one that I had been subconsciously putting off for fear of bad news, but under that shaggy fur and bad breath is a healthy old dog! She has come so far. I couldn't wait to show off her new, geriatric leash manners to the same b****s at the vet that used to give her dirty looks for being such an ill-behaved mongrel. It kind of backfired a bit though after my pacifier-wearing 2-year old came along yelling and flicking off and on the exam room lights. You are a great big sister, Chloe. Thanks for being such a good girl.

When You're a Grown-up You Get To...

2010-11-22T10:25:00.004-07:00

Evie and Rush finally asleep, their parents sheepishly eating ice cream bars from the Chevron station up the road and laughing at Curb Your Enthusiasm. I mean, laughing at the opening credits, because once you've seen that show, even the theme song evokes the giggles.

Carmen: "This is exactly the action Evie dreads missing out on every night after she goes to bed."

Micah: "That's why I bought a third Klondike bar in case she wakes up."

Whole lotta catchin' up...

2010-11-13T15:14:00.015-07:00

I'm back after being bombarded with requests to resume the blog! (Okay, just two requests. But this is for you, Mary R. & Georgina!) I've been in a little funk lately, but it didn't stop me from taking pictures.

First item of discussion. The one day I decided not to be an absolute control freak. I had to work on kindergarten picture day, but the night before , I brushed the dirt out from Evie's fingernails, gave her locks the royal conditioning treatment, and told Micah exactly how to do her picture-day hair. I stopped myself from micro-managing her outfit after a) considering the ridiculous amount of adorable clothes she has and, b) reading Micah's expression that said, "Stop yourself from micro-managing her outfit." Off to work I went. When I came home to see her wearing last year's Halloween costume, I just knew my husband was playing the best trick on me ever! He is so funny! He had her change into this after she got home from school, right?

....right?

Second item of discussion. The really big storm. My picture doesn't do it justice, but the lights went out at Evie's school, trees got uprooted, and one of our sliding glass doors shattered to smithereens. I wish I took video, but maybe my fancy schmancy computer skills will work in embedding this video shot by another valley family.

Third item of discussion. Auntie Erin's and Uncle Steve's wedding! Evie and Logan as flower girls! One of the trip's highlights was Rush, throwing a fit and shouting "Princess!" as we muscled him into his vest and tie because he wanted to wear a pretty dress like his sister and cousin.

Aunt Erin was soooo not your typical wound-up bride. I think she laughed the whole weekend. During the rehearsal she and the bridesmaids were cracking each other up, hoarsing around with the flower girls, and hardly paying attention to the gameplan. I just love seeing people live in the moment! Love and kisses and best wishes to the new Nimitzes...Nimitzs?...Nimitz's? Erin, you'll have to get back with me once you've figured that one out.

I wish I took pictures while we were in Virginia, but I did remember the camera in my purse during our Houston layover.

The kids, as usual, had a great time playing with their cousins and being spoiled with attention and soda by Grandma Jean and Grandpa Dave. After we came back home, Rush spotted a case of Diet Orange Crush at Target and pointed and shouted, "Gramma!"

Next, up: Halloween. Jessie from Toy Story and a Lighting McQueen inspired race car driver. Are these kids not the cutest, or what? Evie's shirt put us back $27 at Shepler's. And if you think that's an exorbitant price for a kid's costume, just wait 'til you see pics of the new shetland pony in our backyard.

Finally, our day off. As Evie spent the day with Mom, Micah and I took Rush to Mesa's Veterans Day parade. Rush said, "Tank You" as he waved to the young and elderly military members marching down Center Street. I feel very grateful and humbled at what others have sacrificed for our freedoms. Thank you so much, veterans. We don't say it nearly enough.

Redemption

2010-08-21T13:26:00.004-07:00

Kathy's giving me a second chance after I let the first bunch of blue ruellia she gave me go to rot in our garage. This time she came over, at nine-thirty on a Saturday morning, with freshly dug up blue ruellia, got her hands dirty and made sure her slacker friend put those flowers in the ground.

I've been wasting my afternoon reading old emails while Rush naps and Evie and Jazz play. The letters between Morgan and I during her Iraq tour and during my pregnancy with Evie are so funny, full of inconsequential stories I told her just to get her to laugh a million miles away. Here's a story I told Morgan about Kathy:

"The second funny thing is that I told Kathy Campbell at water aerobics today that the electronic stereo equipment by the pool made me nervous b/c I just pictured some psycho running and pushing it in the water while we were all working out and Kathy goes, 'Here you go, old ladies!'"

I'm lucky Rush didn't wake up when I belted out a laugh over that memory. Kathy, you're so freaking hilarious! Thanks for the second chance today.

Super Mom

2010-08-16T17:46:00.003-07:00

Oh, hey there! I was just getting ready to take my cape off after a full day of kissing my husband goodbye, getting our kindergartener off to school, taking Rush to the GYM after a long summer hiatus, polishing up nursing school projects, and cooking a well-rounded and delicious dinner...

I know, so annoying. I can't help it if it's just been one of those great days!

But last week didn't go off without a hitch like I'd thought. Despite the relief of sending my understimulated and enthusiastic daughter off to school, I initiated a full-on lockdown at Costco after losing Rush on my first day of having "only" one child. Terrifying. Not sure if the 90-point wine and the killer deals on classroom treats was worth it, but if there's any place to lose your kid, it's there. They were awesome. Reassurance, walkie-talkies, swat-like teamwork, the whole bit.

Ironically I had been thinking how easy it would be with just one kid around the house during the day. Yet it seems this week he's chosen to assert himself. Pulling mind games at naptime, throwing toys, hitting. My baby! Just tonight I watched him, after Evie stood her ground and refused to hand over the toy he wanted, eyeball her precious stuffed bunny, snatch it off the table, and give her an "Eat s*#* and die" look. Mm hmm.

Meanwhile there's our beautiful, content, Type-A little girl, so relieved herself after starting school. Tonight as she was drawing she said, "I liiiike it, except...it needs more...accessories." And later, "How do you spell 'love it?'"

Gotta go. The family is at the table, eating their nutritious meal while Super Mom is blogging. That and my arms hurt from typing after working out. More irony for ya.

My Baby...

2010-08-11T21:51:00.004-07:00

My baby started kindergarten today. She bounced right into her class and promptly gave her new teacher a big, fat, "I'm-here!" hug! I'd had a sick, gnawing feeling about this day all summer, afraid of what I'd feel. But instead of anguish, I was in awe of her confidence and innocence and enthusiasm. I can't believe it's here. Congratulations, Evie! You were cut out for this! You make my heart feel super happy. I love you, baby girl!

The Whole, Hot Month of July

2010-07-24T12:31:00.009-07:00

Lacasitaloca, it's been too long! Look what's happened since our last meeting! The tooth fairy has visited twice now. Look at this beautiful, kindergarten smile! I wish I had video of the morning joy and the excitement in her voice, "Daddy, Daddy! The tooth fairy brought me a DOLLAR!" She's so innocent and guileless I can hardly stand it.

We've been keeping busy swimming and hanging at the (air-conditioned mall) playground. The kids have overloaded on DVDs. It's been the summer of Bolt, Toy Story, Tinkerbell and the Lost Treasure, 101 Dalmations, Nemo, and Wonder Woman (oh yeah, Paradise Island, seriously?) Mom has helped out so much between school, afternoons of studying, and date night. I thought I'd be the mother of the year one evening and make homeade pizza, just like NieNie. Even took pictures, but my conscience prevents me from posting the deceiving photos. The pretty crust baked up like jello. Notice the girls, in their Wonder Woman wear, didn't touch their plates. It sure didn't stop Rush.

That's my boy.

The grown-ups skipped the pizza and drank instead.

Evie starts school in a couple of weeks. She is SO excited, counting down the days. I can't even talk about it. We'll deal with it when it gets here. Rush started talking. His words: momo work (Elmo's World), eeeuw-gross, Mawee (Mommy), Daheee (Daddy), MowMow (Grandma), Dooooris, Ch(l)oe, Bolt, Toy Story, Cars, Foofa, mine, that, water, Wall-E, (ba)nana, uh-oh, horse, cow, dog, cat, pig, coke (shame on mommy), and a bunch of others that aren't coming to mind. His "new thing?" Hitting, going to time out, and boobs.

Yesterday at work I got to "scrub in" on my first Cesarean with twins. After things slowed down I took advantage of the babysitter, played hookie from work, and wrote a school paper at the Good Egg. Mary was happy to go home early, Rush had just gone down for a nap, and Evie had started some Nick Jr. computer games. "Evie," using my child psychology to word this, "how about after I lie down we can go swimming when Rush wakes up?"

"Sure!," she said, "just don't move my kids. They're sleeping in your bed."

Georgina, Answer Your Phone

2010-06-07T23:20:00.004-07:00

You'd better call me back to talk about the United States of Tara finale and I'm not even kidding.

You Did It, Babe

2010-06-07T08:51:00.002-07:00

Here you are, giving Michael Keaton's Mr. Mom Heisman pose your best, on your way to the MAG interview. (Do we have any jokes that didn't come straight out of the movies?) You nailed it! Congratulations, baby. Good luck on your first day of work. Only good things to come...

the Parents Henry

2010-06-04T13:20:00.003-07:00

Evie cried her eyes out the morning her Grandparents returned to Virginia. I cried that night when I had to do my own dishes. Thanks, Grandma, Grandpa, and Chewie for coming to see us, helping us with the kids and the house, and having fun doing it. We're already looking forward to October.

Rush's New Thing

2010-05-21T19:07:00.003-07:00

I mentioned Rush's pink tutu previously, and a mom leaving Evie's preschool encouraged me to document his next new thing. "Oh, please tell me you have pictures of that!"

Oh, yes, yes, I do...

Potpurri

2010-05-10T20:04:00.008-07:00

We've had a lot going on this past week, so I'm throwing it all together in a potpurri post (copyright, Alex Trebek). Somewhere amid homework, housework, work-work, and my Zyrtec and Benadryl fog we managed to fit a lot of socializing in. Last Friday Evie's preschool threw a mother's day tea. The kids sang "I love you, Mommy" to the tune of "You Are My Sunshine." Evie was so thrilled to socialize with her friends. Her buddy Joshua was sitting with his mom at another table and Ev pointed to him and yelled clear over the crowd, "Joooshuaaaa! You're my boyfriend!" AND. THEN. BLEW. HIM. A. KISS.

Here's her man. Evie has great taste. Joshua looks like he doesn't know what hit him.

That night we celebrated Doug's (Dougie's) birthday with NeeNee and friends at Texas Roadhouse. Yee haw! Here are Lesa and Doug pretending that our kids are theirs...AGAIN. We always laugh so much with the Masons. Thank you for taking us for who we are. Happy birthday, Doug. We love you.

Rush livin' large at Noah Gallagher's 3rd birthday party. For some reason he was terrified of the splash pad but was a happy camper as soon as he found out where the fruit and Doritos were hiding. We can't ever keep his face clean.

Evie fully focused on one of the goody bag treats...bubbles!

Mom and I went for mother's day pedicures after the party. On Sunday we celebrated mother's day at her house with veggie sandwiches, sour cream and cheddar ruffles, and watermelon salad. (The menu is very important!) I ate it all too, plus In & Out burger beforehand and three lemon bars afterwards. Micah gave me a card that played "Ain't No Woman Like the One I've Got," and gave Evie and I matching earrings. Rush put on a tutu from Gramasan's toybox and literally twirled, pointed toes and everything. It's amazing the stuff he picks up. We laughed and laughed, our little Billy Elliot! Mom, I hope mother's day was wonderful for you, because you're wonderful, and you deserve it. Thanks for all the thoughtful things you do, for coming over to babysit, watching Hung and Dance Your Ass Off with me, and laughing in enjoyment of these amazing kids.

Aren't they something?

Happy Birthday to My Son

2010-05-03T23:21:00.003-07:00

Rush! Happy 2nd birthday, big boy! This past year with you has been so much fun. Our little mimic, who imitates everything from Evie's tears to Gramasan's laughter to looking in the full-length mirror and jumping up and down when Mommy is trying on new sports bras! I love how easily you smile, how you roll with the punches, how every week you have a new "thing." This week it's preferring to go shirtless. You are so busy. Your most recent haircut was divided in two separate appointments because it's hard for the stylist to hit a moving target! Your face is always dirty, even five minutes after being washed. You say "broom broom" for water and "vroom vroom" for cars. You giggle fitfully when Daddy tackles you after you say "poo poo" or when Mommy pretends to barf after smelling your stinky feet. You are assertive, bringing us a tupperware bowl and a box of cereal or handing us the remote and pointing to the TV. You turn your light and ceiling fan on the moment we kiss you goodnight, yet you sleep like a rock. You LOVE your sister as much as you LOVE to get the best of her. "Little brothers!" she rolls her eyes. If I had comprehended how blessed we would be the day we found out you were coming, the joy may have sent me over the edge. My cup runneth over. I love you so much.

Nerd Alert!

2010-04-30T22:11:00.006-07:00

Week One of school is finally here! "Mommy's school" at Grand Canyon University, that is! My first class? NUR 502 - something Theory Nursing Foundations something something... So far I have four chapters, one lecture, and two articles to read, plus two online discussion questions to contribute to and a paper to write. All this before the first day of class.

So, let's see, time to get started:

deep breath. open textbook
hmmm, decide to organize work space. very tidy now

check email. no new messages

call Micah at work and ask, "What are you doing?"

okay, return to textbook

decide to read my own blog
collaborate with Evie about her Pirate Day outfit
check email. nope
shop for printer cartridges which are very necessary for school
Browse the DVR list. oh, Glee was new this week!
okay, refocusing. read textbook
check email. message re: Dunkin Donuts Perks waiting!
write grocery list

back to textbook
call Georgina
blog about how hard school is

Yep, that's as far as I've gotten. Not a whole lot's changed since college.

Except, of course, for this:

Do You Want Fries With That?

2010-04-27T21:18:00.004-07:00

Unpaid overtime, meager income, high expectations, back-breaking, heart-breaking work! The teachers have had it! They're moving to food service. Oh, wait. No summers off? Nevermind. It was fun while it lasted, McDonald's.

Huzzah!

2010-03-29T19:03:00.005-07:00

So, Micah and I just had it out over our Renaissance Festival experience, so I can't pretend it was all mead and roses. A day's worth of chasing Rush around in circles, calling my husband on his cell phone numerous times to get his location, fighting off the sun, listening to overweight red-headed Apache Junction vendors seriously pretend to have Irish accents (yeah, seriously), basically surmounted in a marital argument consisting of "Where were you?", "You ATE without me?", "If I could just peel you away from your computer...", and "You drink too much wine."

By the way, the Renaissance Festival took place 2 days ago.

The fun part? Watching people who you would think live on the fringes of society, braided hair, wizard outfits, tattoos everywhere, dreadlocks, boobs spilling out of laced corsets, and completely knowing they work in the IT department at your hospital. The other fun part? Micah's D&D friends, talking smack during the Joust to the Death. I ate it up. (That and the broccoli cheese bread boule.) What happens at the Renaissance Festival, stays at the Renaissance Festival. IT, I'll keep your secret.

It's bedtime, Evie's turn-in took about an hour after reading books, finding Waldo, saying prayers, appeasing "I'm thirsty", and "I have to go the bathroom", and "You forgot my vitamins!", plus changing the sheets the cat pissed on. Rush is still crying it out. I'm on the computer (again) and Micah and I aren't making eye contact. Love and marriage. Huzzah!

"I'm Not Afraid"

2010-03-13T19:13:00.003-07:00

There's no going back now, Ev!

Albuquerque

2010-03-01T08:58:00.003-07:00

To all New Mexico residents, sorry about the Lynn laugh.

More girls-weekend pictures here.

She's Five!

2010-02-21T14:45:00.001-07:00

Evie, Gramasan, and I celebrated her fifth birthday with a Disneyland trip. Oh, the rides, cotton candy, and the commotion! I swear they pipe marijuana through the vents so everyone is insanely happy and eats like pigs. We had lots of laughs, took lots of pictures, and came home yesterday to Daddy, Rush, Georgina, Ana, Aunt Linda, and Grandma Evie who were all ready to celebrate some more. We have sore feet, empty wallets, and sugar hangovers. Micah said he's checking us in to Disney detox.

50 Candles

2010-02-15T13:54:00.005-07:00

To Kathy, our secret-keeping, self-starting, suture-tying, Tom Cruise-lovin', party-hosting, babysittin', Pimm's-drinkin', master-planning, football-betting, R&B-dancin', house-decorating, favor-doin', story-telling, errand-running, ass-kickin' friend: Happy Birthday, girl! Your party was a blast. Two days later and I'm still aspirin-takin'.

Come and Dance With Your Daddy All Night Long

2010-02-12T19:33:00.007-07:00

The Valentine's Daddy-Daughter Dance is here! Evie had her hair done at the "spa" and said of the final product, "This is exactly what I wanted!" Well, why wouldn't it be? "I want a bun on top like Tinkerbell," she told the stylist, "and curls coming down." Micah arrived in his suit with Rush, diaper bag, and corsage in arms. I followed them to the ballroom door wanting so bad to be a fly on the wall! It was awesome to see dads twirling girls a third their height around the dance floor. I can't wait to hear all about it when they come back. Rush and I are kickin' it at home, eating McDonald's and watching Cars.

Update! They had a blast dancing, having their picture taken, making cookies, and eating pasta. (Micah said the portion sizes were meager, but the party was hosted by Lifetime Fitness. It figures.) The DJ spun Pete Townsend's "Let My Love Open the Door" per Evie's request. And when he played "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," all the little daughters hit the dance floor holding hands!

Happy Birthday, My Friend

2010-02-02T21:16:00.003-07:00

Brunch with your besties. Afternoon Zumba. For dinner: Crab bisque 37th, sourdough bread, and a couple glasses of Shiraz. Dishing about Big Love. Our kids running around your house with markers and chocolate frosting while we ignored them to browse the internet for our celebrity look-a-likes. Life is so fun with you, Georgina! I hope it was a wonderful day.

We've got Evie!

2010-01-03T22:56:00.003-07:00

"The best Christmas present EVER!" And thanks, Mom, for giving me the opportunity to hear Evie shout during the standing ovation, "I love it, Gramasan! Bye, Annie!"

Some suggestions...

2010-01-01T20:02:00.013-07:00

...for air travel with beastly 19-month old children:

Layovers are actually a good thing.
The words "lap infant" are not in your vocabulary. For a five hour flight, the extra seat is worth it.
Valium. Five milligrams every few hours. For you, not the baby.
Episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba are available for iPod download at $1.99 per show.
Don't forget to charge the iPod.
After an hour of unplacated screaming, a trip to the airplane potty is in order. Allow your child to repeatedly turn the faucet on and splash in the germ-infested sink to their heart's desire.
Provide spare change of clothes for soaking wet child.
After two hours of unplacated screaming, you may be tempted at this point to rub a teeny, harmless bit of Valium into your toddler's gums. Don't do this. Refer to suggestion #3.
Singing songs to your baby doesn't really work like you think it does.
When passengers behind you start muttering expletives at your child's piercing cry, you may give quick, passing, yet aggressive eye contact.
After three hours of unplacated screaming, when said passengers say to one another, "Why doesn't the bathroom sink have any water left?" don't make eye contact.
Remind yourself there are worse things than travelling with your miserable baby. Say to yourself, "He could have diarrhea, too."
Take a look at your precious 4-year old daughter, if you have one, happily singing along to the Wicked soundtrack on her rhinestone-studded Hello Kitty CD player, and remember your 19-month old will get there one day too.
Try not to resent your spouse for getting to sit next to the 4-year old instead of the baby. But that doesn't really work like you think it does either.
When you get home, show off pictures of how freaking adorable your kids are with their cousins, talk about how much fun they had with Grandma and Grandpa, and wait a good year before trying this again.

Rush and Victor.

Evie and Logan.

"Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!"

2009-12-17T20:55:00.004-07:00

Thank You

2009-12-13T22:31:00.004-07:00

Thankful for the desert rain. Thankful the kids and I made it through four days without Dad, and thankful the kids and Dad made it three days without Mom. Pleased the carpet survived the week, after Chloe polished off a wayward poopy diaper, littered its remnants across the lawn, and puked the contents of her upset stomach onto our bedroom floor. Relieved the Christmas shopping is completed, the laundry is mostly caught up, and the house isn't a disaster. Grateful for my work, where "individual, unrepeatable, irreplaceable!" babies of all sizes and colors are born everyday. So happy today I could cut out early to get some errands done, and to watch our children play in the rain. Thankful for my Savior, tonight's mass and Father Jack, for Micah and our many funny friends who make life sweet. So grateful I could just about kiss everyone in my family right on the lips right now! Give 'em Grandpa Lynn's "Georgia liplock." Except, of course, Chloe. We know where her mouth has been.

Anticipation

2009-11-26T20:30:00.005-07:00

Evie begged from behind her Trader Joe's kiddie shopping cart for this Advent calendar. I felt the familiar mini-guilt trip as I once again succumbed to saying "yes." (Georgina once said my only personal motivation was guilt. No one else goes on these trips, mind you. I'm the only driver.) Yes after yes, though, over balloons, stickers, gum, donuts, et al, has formed a heaping pile of motherhood shame. What kind of person am I helping to form through indulgence? Yet tonight I watched her internally go to pieces over this unopened box of daily chocolate, forbidden until December 1st, her fingernails sneaking little attempts at the plastic wrapping. She's been counting down the days, poring over the pictures, smelling the cardboard. The agony, the puppy love, the Red Ryder BB gun of it all! It's the hunger that makes us interesting.

"I'm Going to Draw You a Mean Picture."

2009-11-21T13:18:00.004-07:00

Expressing anger through art.

Fire-breathing dragon. Media: crayon. Evie, 2009.

Go, ahead. Make my Day.

2009-11-09T14:34:00.007-07:00

Rush has been issuing me some challenges in the form of gym daycare poop. Three times this month I've been called out of class to address his timely "gifts." At varying times of the day, no less. He's got it out for me! I get the picture, Cowboy. You want a showdown, and it's on!

Big-Ass Bead Party

2009-11-09T12:55:00.004-07:00

My genuine, hilarious, miraculous friends Lisa and Michelle. Can't you see sparkly stars and angels surrounding them? I love you and treasure you!

"And whoever is happy will make others happy too." ~ Anne Frank

Love them!

2009-11-01T09:50:00.001-07:00

There is no place like home.

Halloween Zumba

2009-10-31T14:57:00.003-07:00

Here are a few people in my "Latin Fusion" class surrounding our sassy Venezuelan dance instructor, "Officer" Ingrid. She is so hilarious and fun; one day I'll have to write a post about all of her Ingrid-isms. (i.e., "Remember your hips, ladies. I don't make mild Salsa.") Today she had us dance the THRILLER Dance! I've always wanted to do that dance! It was awesome!! I am in the back, wearing Evie's Dora wig from last Halloween and going as Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction. You may not recognize Mia since she's cleaned up, quit cocaine, and put on those much needed 35 pounds! So much healthier, don't you think?

We're baaaaack...

2009-10-26T19:59:00.002-07:00

It's too beautiful outside right now! Swimming is out, but playground time and evening walks have made their comeback. I can't believe October is almost over! My work's beloved Health Unit Secretary, aka HUS, (Georgina calls her "our favorite Italian HUSsy!") Sarina, celebrated both her retirement and her 50th wedding anniversary. A few of us L&D girls made a trip to the west side for dinner and a haunted house. Last night the kids and I started decorating the courtyard for Halloween, Rush getting lots of enjoyment over the creepy sound effects. He's almost got his wicked "muah-ah-ah" laugh down just right. I can't wait for Saturday to see them in their costumes!

Sarina and Andrew renewing their vows. I wish I had a picture of their wedding day, because as beautiful as they were then, they look even more in love today. Congratulations!

Sugar Babies

2009-10-08T21:09:00.008-07:00

I miss you, Grandpa Bear. I miss sitting at the Dunkin Donuts bar in Portland with you while you conversed with the ladies behind the counter and talked politics with the Union guys. I remember the bakery at the beach, too. And the one at Safeway. Micah says I am a walking map of Phoenix with only restaurants for landmarks and I imagine I get some of that from you and your donut radar. I know you are taking pleasure in seeing my children grow. I could almost hear you laughing. And when I catch a taste of maple frosting on their cheeks, it is your kiss I deliver.

The Fourth Lynn Girl

2009-10-07T22:26:00.004-07:00

With her Gramasan and Grandpa Bob.

It's here!

2009-10-05T21:09:00.001-07:00

Arizona Fall has arrived!! I can't even hear my AC running! Georgina and the kids and I squeezed in an end-of-summer trip to the splash pad under the Gilbert water tower. We had dinner at Liberty Market, mmmmm. If my camera hadn't died, I'd have a picture of the sizzling apricot chicken and mashed sweet potatoes right now. Guess I'll have to hold the memory right here, in my heart. (shed tear) When we left the restaurant for our cars, it felt, dare I say it? Cold! Hopefully the weather holds for this Saturday's soccer game, and maybe Evie will be more enthused about kicking the ball around. Turns out she'd rather cheerlead from the sidelines. After last weekend's game, Georgina exclaimed, "Wow, Evie, that was so much fun!" And Evie, surprised, "It was?" Micah is a little bummed, but we're both so proud of her rallying her teammates by name and being a good friend. The apostle Paul calls this exhortation. So Evie, with her sparkly pom poms and shimmering spirit, has her gifts.

Flawless

2009-09-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

Pan-Seared Pork Chop with Asparagus, Artichoke, Lemon, and Capers

Morgan and I talked a little bit last night. "I check your website everyday," she said. "Your pictures make your life look perfect!" This, of course, is what I'm going for. To be the envy of all four of you who follow my blog. But I think it may be time for what Mom refers to as a "Come to Jesus" talk.

The truth: My kids drink organic milk, but we are at the McDonald's drive-thru everyday. Last week I single-handedly ate half of a Cinnamon Bundt Cake and a number of donuts (too many to try to count). I use the TV for babysitting. Evie has busted me more than once sneaking her sweet schoolwork into the recycle bin. Rush sometimes eats dog food. And I let him. Last Sunday we skipped church just to see DJ Lance Rock entertain live at the Kidsfaire Expo. (Disappointingly, "The Jumpitz" performed instead. Good one, God.) I'm on facebook about five times a day, but would never make as many comments because heaven forbid people know I care enough check! I used the word "pan-seared" to describe tonight's meal because that's just a pretentious term for stovetop cooking. And today I found myself apologizing to one of my dearest, most precious friends for biting her head off. For the record, life isn't perfect.

But dinner was.

We're All Winners

2009-09-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

The St. Timothy Warriors get their name from Coach Micah's childhood team. (Micah and I had discussed other team mascot possibilities. The "St. Timothy Devils!" or the "St. Tim Crusaders!" didn't quite click.) This morning, in 90 degree weather, our flush faced preschoolers played their first game. Evie had a meltdown at game onset, when she discovered her team was wearing red, not pink, and sat out the first quarter. I forgot the sunscreen, Micah forgot his water, and Rush had a fit over my efforts to restrain his sweaty, twisty, 30-lb body from charging the field. I realized I suck at Soccer Mom. But two things saved the day. One, Doug appeared and entertained the baby while Evie and I hit the port-a-potty (now equipped with hand sanitizer!) And two, Micah's shining moment, at game end, after the Warriors lost 2 to 3, wearing the same "Hungary for Turkey" T-shirt he wore the day his daughter was born, gathered the kids together to praise them and remind them of good sportsmanship. Their final chant, "Good Game, Tigers!" filled me with happiness. Go, Warriors!

Worth the Mess

2009-09-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

The kitchen, and Rush, took a good scrubbing after this meal.

http://www.bhg.com/recipe/pasta/spaghetti-with-fresh-pesto/

Don't let the picture of these sweet girls fool you. They've been antagonizing one another all night. Here they take a short break from their rivalry to make another batch of PMS cookies...

I Can't Help It

2009-09-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

Isn't she lovely?

What Is Wrong With This Picture?

2009-09-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight Ev and I read from the Disney book her daddy bought her during one of their Bookman's trips. (I know. I can't believe my anti-corporate husband now invests his dollar in evil Disney. The things we do for love!) The bedtime stories weren't complete without Evie's interjections. "I thought her name was Hercules and his name was Meg," pointing. "Oh. Well, let's call her Hercules, anyway." I saw something peculiar as we turned the last page in Snow White's story.

"What...is that? Did Dora decide to live happily ever after with Snow White, too?"

"No. The dwarves gave her a Dora sticker so her dress would be beautiful." Duh. We turned off the lights and I hugged her tight. She smelled like Gramasan's Tova perfume, remnants of last night's sleepover. I talked to her softly in the pitch black. "Are you...my conscience?" she asked, laughing. We cracked up. Where does she get this stuff? "Dory said it in Nemo." Again, duh.

I closed her door and walked into the living room to see this:

I love this crazy, little house.

Just Desserts

2009-09-03T16:41:00.000-07:00

Ice cream cones. The upside to flu shots.

Day 28

2009-08-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

Oatmeal Fudgies, AKA "The Bitch is Back. The Perfect PMS Cookie." Boil one stick butter, 2 c. sugar, 3 T. cocoa, 1/2 c. milk, and a pinch of salt for 3 minutes before adding 3 c. quick oats and one t. vanilla. Mix and drop small mounds onto wax paper. Voila! Except that creamy, wholesome milk in the vintage Fire King mug? It's wine now.

Micah took the kids from underfoot so I could make dinner. (Or so he could escape the estrogen?) The recipe here: http://www.bhg.com/recipe/pasta/spaghetti-with-two-tomato-toss/ And the family enjoying another summer scorcher...

Thank you, Micah, for your sense of humor and patience in stepping up to the monthly challenge.

The Good Egg. Before and After.

2009-08-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

I destroyed that corned beef hash. "It was delicious."

Just learned that baby Harrison David Seibel made his debut this morning. Congratulations to Erin and Dave! You've earned your stars spending hours with our kids, brushing Barbie hair, playing Legos on the floor, and countlessly and patiently pausing whatever TV show we'd rather be watching due to poopy pants, bedtime stories, and missing blankies. Today you become a FAMILY. Harrison, you are already blessed.